So this past Monday I was reading through my Twitter feed and came across this gem from USC Head Football Coach Pete Carroll (@petecarroll):
“Just finished talking ball with Cleveland Browns head coach Eric Mangini in my office…”
This got me wondering what they could be talking about aside from football, and what things Mangini might pick up from the most capable recruiter and arguably the most successful NCAA coach that’s out there right now (don’t flame me about it, you know it’s true). Here are some of my ideas on the changes that could be made in Berea:
1) Mangini starts to use cool California words like “rip”, “gnarly” and “dude”. This will be one of the hardest things to verify, since he says so much at his pressers it’s nearly impossible to catch all the words that he uses. However, with sideline camera technology we may be able to catch his response when if Braylon actually catches the ball. Odds of Mangini speaking surfer talk: 5 to 1. (Odds of Braylon catching the ball 2:1)
2) The internet will become flooded with pictures depicting how fun of a guy Mangini is. He could be just hanging out in his swim trunks, having a laugh. He could be dancing the Soulja Boy dance. Mangini dancing – I think it would probably look like this. Mangini starts the fire, then makes the beans. Odds of Mangini being fun: 7 to 2
3) Popular social networking websites will become part of Mangini’s repertoire. Here he will utilize his new found internet savvy to spread his new words – “rip”, “gnarly”, and “dude”. His Facebook marital status will say “Divorced from William Belichick”. His Twitter feed would have great insightful messages like “No comment” and “I don’t have a lot to say about that right now but maybe later I will have something to say, but not right now”. These words, along with his worldwide reach by internet will allow him to recruit players to the Browns: ”@David_Bowens : You used to play for me, and it was neat wasn’t it?” ”@JayCutler : Brett Favre says he loved playing for me” “@David_Bowens : Come on, the Browns have a great AARP membership”. He’s got a lot to learn from Coach Carroll in this department. Odds of Mangini rocking the inter-nets: 10 to 1.
4) Much like Carroll’s former players, the players who learn from Mangini will have sweet dance moves, which their coach probably taught them. Odds of Mangini teaching his dance moves to players: 12 to 1.
5) Hugely impressed by Southern Cal, Mangini will bring in the cold-weather version of the Song Girls. Please Coach Mangini – please. The rest of this post was in jest. This point was not. Do it. Odds of this actually happening: 10000 to 1. :(