1) The Cavs can’t do anything wrong. Let’s think about their moves in the past week. Prior to the trade, the Cavs had the following situation going on leading up to free agency: Anderson Varejao and Walter were both becoming unrestricted free agents. So what? We have LeBron. The Cavs’ lack of a power big man and athleticism on the wings was highlighted against the Magic in the ECF. Who cares? LBJ. MVP. Check his stats, son – he filthy good.
2) The Cavs traded two players who might as well quit playing basketball altogether, they’re so worthless. Sasha Pavlovic didn’t matter. Ben Wallace used to be an All-Star but he had an expiring contract therefore he must go NOW! The Cavs got Shaq. Shaq is famous and a name we all recognize. Therefore, the Cavs are better with him. Forget the fact that it was a 2:1 trade and the roster is now smaller. Shaq does movies! He’s a cop!! What, the Cavs might have held out longer to do better? IT’S SHAQ!!! EVEN MY DUMB WIFE KNOWS WHO SHAQ IS, STUPID! Obviously the Cavs will be NBA champs in 2010. Guaranteed. DOCUMENTED. Forget 2010. NBA CHAMPS 2010-2035!! This move obviously is sterling and cannot be criticized in any way.
3) The Cavs went into draft night with the #30 pick and hopes of moving up. Then, the two big name guys from Pitt were still available at #30. So what?! Ath-a-leti-sisssmmm son! Like MAD HOPS! And he can stay in Europe? Magnificent! The Cavs just got a guy that can make spectacular blocks (on lower level Spanish teams)! You know who else makes spectacular blocks? LeBron. AND LEBRON IS ON THE CAVS BABY!!!! YEAAAA!!!
4) The Cavs have an owner who is the greatest in the entire history of Cleveland sports. Dick Jacobs? Psssshhh, he sold the Tribe to a penny-pincher therefore is worthless. Dan Gilbert is ready to SPEND, baby. He’s singlehandedly going to keep LeBron in Cleveland because Gilbert throws more money around than Pacman Jones on the Vegas strip. He straight MAKES IT RAIN HOMEY! LeBron isn’t going anywhere. Gilbert isn’t scared of that. He ain’t afraid of no ghost.
5) Obviously the Cavs just locked up a title not only next year but at least 3 in the next 5 years. Why? LeBron is staying. That’s established. The Cavs will sign Andy, and sign Rasheed Wallace. This will make us awesome beyond reproach. Then, the Cavs will have a bajillion dollars to pick up Bosh or Wade in 2010. Not even a question. See point 4.
To summarize: this has been the GREATEST WEEK IN CLEVELAND SPORTS HISTORY!!! SHAQ + LEBRON!! Before, they were only together in my dreams (and on my bedroom wall) – but now… WE DID IT!!! CAVS AND BROWNS WIN TITLES THIS YEAR, YAAAY!!!
These folks tend to drown out any criticism. Obviously the Cavs made great moves. Unquestionably the best moves. By any team. Ever. Any writing to the contrary is blasphemy. Thou shalt not discredit thine savior, LeBron. I’m not really sure how these people figured out the internet, but they’re here. We may have differing opinions on the state of the Cavs. Most people here think the moves made were positive. The Danny Green signing was a solid pickup. The Shaq trade is an overall positive. But the Cavs still have a long way to go, folks. Let’s not lose sight of that (or reality). Have a nifty weekend.
*Note: I have a lot of stupid friends. Some of these arguments have honestly been made and the blind homerism and lack of cognitive ability scare the crap out of me. It kind of makes me wonder about those studies saying Ohio education is doing well.