Your 2010 Playoffs NBA All-Animal Team

The NBA Playoffs are a lot of fun. We get all sorts of great play, some chance at upsets (though not much), and we get more exposure to some funny inanities that I appreciate.

One such thing: player nicknames. A couple of weeks ago, Sebastian Telfair made his debut for the Cavs, and I photoshopped the head of a Bass on him because of his nickname “Bassy”. I thought this was the end of my photoshop fun. For those of you who know me even remotely, you would have told me that it was not.

With the playoffs going on, Twitter has been buzzing about the NBA. A mistake in announcing of Spurs rookie Dejuan Blair’s name resulted in the awesome Tweetmeme DejuanBear. Inspired by this, here’s the 2010 NBA Playoffs All-Animal Team (Spoiler: Bassy is not on the team).

Guard: Jameerkat Nelson

Guard: John Salmons

Forward: DeJuan Bear

Forward: Chris “Big Birdman” Andersen

Center: Joakim Boah

I know that I’ve left off Durantula, but I couldn’t justify ripping off this fantastic work by TheDanWimann so I’ll just link you his way instead. If there are any others that you think would work (and Kobe doesn’t, because his name doesn’t sound like an animal) leave them in the comments.

Bigups to NDEddieMac and DocFunk for the suggestions.

UPDATES: Some great stuff in the comments. First up, Aaron had this glorious Kobe Bry-ANT:

Amin with the Clamar Odom:

Eli suggested this, Tony Barker:

And DP suggested Heron Williams:

Alex droppin’ bombs with the idea of Kendrick Purr Kins:

GrANT HILL (I finally get it! You guys are punny)

You guys are the best.

  • Scott

    I vote for Mussel Westbrook

  • Rick

    Durantula link not what it should be?

  • MrCleaveland

    That’s a cat? Looks more like a prairie dog or a squirrel.

    Anyway, Denny, this looks like another way you could make fun of Colt McCoy.

  • Denny

    Sorry Rick – link’s fixed.

  • Swig

    Jamario Loon
    JJ Chicken
    Delonte Sweater Vest (ya ya not an animal, but the thought makes me laugh)
    Anthony Lark(er)

  • stin4u

    this is unreal…great job

  • Scott

    “That’s a cat?”

    No…it’s a Meerkat

  • Amin

    Denny: Kobe rhymes with Moby. As in Moby Dick. Get some whale photoshop going. And it’s a double whammy, cuz you can call Kobe a dick!

  • Matt#2

    What’s the big deal if Kobe is a private investigator?

  • Amin

    @ Matt#2

    I’m just really tired of NBA players having two jobs. They need to get paid more to support their families. Plus, Kobe will never reach his potential if he can’t focus solely on his NBA job.

  • dgriff13

    OOOOOHHHHH.. My Photoshop skills are being shown up, I see!

  • DP

    Chris Bosh looks like a velociraptor…

  • Jewpants

    kobe beef. so delicious

  • Jewpants

    and kobe’s nickname is the black mamba – snake

  • Matt#2

    A-Mare Stoudemire


  • Amin
  • Wally


  • Wally

    Detlef Shrimp?

  • Aaron
  • MrCleaveland

    LeBrontosaurus? Il-cow-skus?

    Oops, time for my meds.

  • Gren

    I can’t help but look at Jameer Nelson and think “hakuna matata”.

    Yes I did google the spelling.

  • Denny

    @ DP – I think Spaeth totally beat you to that one. SKREE!

  • Jewpants

    grANT Hill

  • Matt#2

    Jewpants wins

  • The Other Tim

    Bison Dele!

    Blue Footed Boobie Gibson
    Rahseed Walleye
    Thabo Sefoluphagus

  • Denny

    It kind of dawned on me that pretty much anyone can be an Ant. ANTawn Jamison. ANThony Parker.

    Kobe BryANT was the first, therefore is official.

  • Alex

    Kevin GARnett
    JJ RedDuck
    Kendrick Purr-kens (he’s a kitty!)

  • Matt#2


    Sure, ANTS are a dime a dozen,
    But an ANT HILL is special.

  • Gren

    Dwight Mallard

    *rim shot*

    Make sure to tip your waiters.

  • Matt#2

    The Purr-kins shop rocks

  • MrCleaveland


    Matt#2 @28 is absolutely correct. grANT HILL works on TWO levels. It’s very clever.

    I gotta say, Denny, as much as we WFNY guys usually love your stuff, you’re having a Clausen/Noah type of week.



  • bobby

    kendrick PORKins

  • C-Rex

    Kobes nickname is Black Mamba which is a snake and thats way more cool than Kobe BryANT

  • Mike

    Brandon Bass.
    Marcus Bambi.
    Jamal Crawfish.
    Brian Cardinal (oh yea, i went there…)
    Ameerkat Johnson. (as an alternative to Jameer, even tho i agree that Jameerkat is better)
    I laughed so hard at that Birdman pic. too good.

  • PaleDragon

    How does the DeJuan Bear pic not incorporate the Tim Couch bear?

  • bwet

    Off the top of my head…
    Carlos Dolphino
    Jason Terrapin
    JR-madillo Smith
    Pau Gasolrus, Pau Gasowl
    Ty Clawson
    Kurt/Tyrus Hippopo-Thomas
    Ryan-o Anderson