Chicago Tribune: Shut Your Piehole

It was brought to my attention by the good folks over at that the sports editors of the Chicago Tribune decided to offer some advice for Cleveland fans through an article in their paper and a video online. (I have to be sure to cite sources here, ask Jay Mariotti how that goes with the Tribune.)

In it, Mike Kellams and Tim Bannon (who may or may not be pictured here) call some work table at their office “the Smack Lodge” and proceed to rip the fans of Cleveland specifically for the We Are LeBron music video, and in general for being “sad” and “begging” LeBron James to stay in Cleveland. At the end of the video they were hoping to get a reply from Governor Strickland. Well, as much as I know I can’t speak for the state of Ohio, or the Governor I’d like to offer my response: shut-up.

Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedules in an attempt to humiliate and bully Cleveland sports fans. We’re fine without you, thanks. By the way, great fact checking over there. Way to notice that this video was made by a comedian. Perhaps it was meant to be a bit of a goof, huh?

Personally I thought the video was lame, but at no time did I think it was a serious effort. There have been serious efforts made by fans to show LeBron that we want him to continue his career here in Cleveland, and if you think that makes us ‘sad’ in some way then that’s your opinion. I notice you didn’t jump all over the Miami Heat organization for launching a website to help keep Wade in town. What’s more pathetic? The fans that care enough to make their opinions known, or the fan base that has to be prodded by a team to do so?

But of course you wouldn’t try to pick on Miami. Did I see a video blasting New York for all of their attempts at getting LeBron to come to the Big Apple? Of course not. A bully doesn’t pick on those that they think are stronger than them, just those that appear weaker. But let me be the first to stand up to you Mr. Kellams and Mr. Bannon and say SHUT YOUR PIEHOLES!

We don’t need you to tell us how we should feel about LeBron or any of our sports teams. You think we go too far in our passion and fandom? Take a good look at Cubs fans for a moment before you make that kind of jump. Goats and Bartman curses. Don’t think that your fans are any different. I wonder if you would have even said a word if Joakim Noah hadn’t shot off at the mouth in the playoffs. So take your classless bully video and stuff it in your deep dish mouth. Losers. And before you offer some lame excuse like “the video was made in good fun” remember that YOU called it the “smack lodge”.

  • MattyFos

    Ask Tweedledee and Tweedledum how childish is was to drive a man out of their city because they didn’t win the World Series. Making Steve Bartman leave town because of a foul ball that Moises Alou probably wasn’t going to catch. Come on.

  • Craig Lyndall

    Bullies think they can pick on us because we are smaller, but they have no idea how absolutely crazy we are. Trust me when I tell you that you would rather fight a big person than a crazy person.

  • MattyFos

    Mayor Bloomburg is asking for lBJ to come to NYC… Doesn’t he have any thing more important to do?

  • Humpy

    What a couple of JACK-HOLES.

  • Boogeyman

    I think this whole thing is comical on both sides. Which side
    is worse is purely perspective. I do find the whiny fans here
    a little tiresome especially since they are most often the same
    ones who cry after LBJ only posts a triple double in game six
    verse Boston. Oh but that’s right he had nine turnovers.

  • Boney


    /Bieber fan’d

  • stin4u

    *shakes fist menacingly in a western-ish direction*

  • MattyFos

    I’m curious why anybody would think LBJ would want to play in Chicago? He is changing his number to 6 in order to honor MJ. To be his own player. Why would LBJ want to play in his shadow? Because the President is from there? By the way, the President has made a plea for LBJ to play in Chicago. Pathetic, huh Chicago writers. Our Governor would like LBJ to stay and your ex-congressman would like LBJ to come to his team/city. Weird.
    Another thing, does LBJ even like Joahkim(not sure spelling, not really that important) Noah. I do remeber Noah bashing LBJ’s second city and Noah making a big fuss about LBJ dancing in a game earlier this season. Yet, somehow being able to play with this undersized Center is supposed to lure LBJ to Chicago?
    And SportNation.. Miss Cloe was charged with fraud, so I don’t take what she says as serious…
    Miss Cleo predicted LBJ would go play in Washington about a month ago. Yes, another place that has done nothing but harass LBJ was he was a visitor. Amazing. These haters hate on LBJ whwen he’s in a Cavs jersey, then love him when he’s a free agent. They think we and LBJ have short memories? Maybe. Maybe they’re just bitter, b/c the King resides in Cleveland.

  • Clown Baby

    I find it tiresome when whiny fans criticize those who they perceive as whiny fans for being whiny. It’s more ironic then anything when people come to a public forum, like say a comment section of an article, and are critical of people being critical. If you don’t want to hear the other side of an issue then don’t come to a place where various viewpoints are sought.

  • BB

    Since I live in Chicago (Denny, ever find out where that bear was residing?), I get to listen to sports talk everyday and believe me, these two hose bags are in the minority. Most sport talk personalities acknowledge that:
    1) Lebron coming to Chicago is a real long shot
    2) If he does, there is reason to believe that he and Rose won’t pair well
    3) Besides Rose, the Bulls are made up of a bunch of roll players, and management is to blame
    4) The Sox stink and are going nowhere fast
    5) The Cubs stink and are buried beneath some ugly huge contracts for years to come
    6) The Bears stink and are a season away from firing the entire coaching staff
    7) The Blackhawks are finally good after years (decades?) of stinking
    You’d think these two geniuses would think before throwing stones at glass houses very similar to their own. I chalk this up to the flexing of beer muscles now that the Hawks are up 2-0.

  • Jason

    I would love it if LeBron sees what these jokers are doing… adds to it Joakim Noah’s comments about Cleveland… and gives Chicago the big middle finger.

    Think about it… whether LeBron stays or goes… he loves Akron/Cleveland. Ripping on his hometown is not a great way to win his heart. Seriously… you wouldn’t ask a girl to marry you by saying, “you are fat, your momma is fat, and you have a bigger gap in your teeth than Michael Strahan, BUT I still want to marry you so what do you say”?

    Its all a bunch of fancy courting.

  • Matt#2

    The Tribune has a style manual.
    It is full of itself.

  • Tim

    That about sums up the class of the average Chicago fan, in my opinion. The thing that worries me about Chicago is that I have an internship there this summer, and nothing could be more painful than actually being there if LeBron signs there, which makes it more likely that it will happen.

  • Webster

    Stay classy, friends.

  • saggy

    Chicago. haha – the “second city” is the nickname, if i remember correctly.

    what a sad little town. if you can make it there you can make it…well, there.

    go back to your little miracle mile and gold coast you deep-dish dweebs.

    d.s. (from New York)

  • Charlie


  • saggy

    UGH – sorry for the immature comment.

    you must understand that, living in NYC, i have had ENOUGH of this stuff. I can’t stand the NY media speculation. although, peter vescey did actually have a pretty good column the other day.

  • Denny

    I am riled up and shouting and I don’t know why

  • Charlie

    I just watched the video. What a couple of cliche spewing buckets of Sammy Sosa’s pigmentation. In no way is this creative or insulting. Drink some Muscle Milk, Ain’t Too Proud To Beg, wakka wakka wakka! Yech. The argument can be made that this is lamer than the video… ok, maybe not, but it’s close.

  • CleFanVA

    Barf. These guys are losers. If LeBron resigns, WFNY has to put together a video basically doing the same thing for Chicago. Wouldn’t that be sweet justice?

  • Max

    getting ripped on by a city who was at one point lampooned regularly on SNL for being fat, heart attack proned beer swilling sausage eaters

    The problem with self deprecating humor is that people who are very full of themselves (in this context cities like NY or Chi) dont understand it because in their myopic world, the mere thought of any sort of put down towards themselves, self deprecating or otherwise is unthinkable, that is why they are unable to identify it.

    The video was nothing really. Wasnt good, for sure. But the worst part is it IS open to interpretation, and therefore the analysis of idiots. Good thing ive gotten good at ignoring people since ive gotten married

  • BrianRut4


  • Stinkfist

    Honestly, the Jordan-less Bulls have less of a history than the Cavs. It might be a stretch, but the Jordan-less Bulls may even be worse than the LeBron-less Cavs. This may be a dumb irrelevant argument, but whatever, I felt like bringing it up.

  • Kevin

    Come on guys.. this video is a pitch in the dirt from a couple of hacks, I certainly hope WFNY doesn’t keep swinging at each and every one of these for the next 40 or so days. “Chicago Tribune: Shut Your Piehole” doesn’t seem to follow the high road that WFNY usually takes.

  • Patrick J

    I shut their video off around 30 secs in…cuz it was already an insult.

    Look. The “We are LeBron” video was obviously meant to be taken light-heartedly. C’mon.

    I’ve been to Chicago and NYC several times apiece, and have never encountered such hostility and arrogance from CHI-town locals, whereas it was commonplace in NYC. This to me is a displaced, desperate effort to attract the King, far-more so than our obviously satirical video.

    Despite our anger over game 5, and our perhaps legitimates questions about LeBron’s MJ gene, nobody in Cleveland doubts the Cavs will be better w/ LeBron for the long-haul than w/o. And I think this video by Mike Polk set out to comedically illustrate that. Nothing more.

    Frankly, I love and want to live in CLE til I die…but I also love the ciy of Chicago and find it a great place to visit. Based on my experience, this petty response is beneath their standards and frankly, comes off as just as desperate to gain LBJ’s services as if this Mike Polk video was genuine.

  • A Bizzle

    does anyone really think this video was actually made for lebron? i mean, who watches that and thinks, “i hope lebron watches this and stays!”

    this video was made for FANS. as a JOKE. why dignify chicago with a response?

  • John

    I Love the article…As Mike Myers also said, from the movie I Married an Axe Murderer said, “Head, move!”

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  • RC in Chicago

    In reply to post #1 re: Bartman: That was the first Cubs game I ever attended as I was passing through en route from London (where I was living at the time) to Columbus for an OSU game. I clearly remember two things, and these two things and the following debacle by the fans tell me all I need to know about Cubs and Chicago fans now that I’m living in town. 1) Having watched plenty of playoff baseball up to that point in the 90’s, I remember saying why is the starting pitcher (Pryor? I can’t recall now) coming back? He was getting shaky in the previous inning, but everyone around me told me “you gotta let him finish it, go the difference” to which I said, “no you don’t, you win and you go to the series, who cares about stats at this point, the bigger picture is…” But apparently, I didn’t know anything about anything. 2) As the replays were played for days on ESPN, all I could remember about Alou’s little arms up/out and down little tantrum and the subsequent fan booing of the fan and his removal, all I could do was laugh (nearly getting myself thrown over the rail of my first row perch of the upper deck) because there were at least 7 other people and their arms going for that ball as well.

    Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy going to Wrigley, but as the Sox fans are always saying, most of the people are there for the beer, which I fully admit that I am!!