May 20, 2013

The Mariners Love Wahoo Sloppy Seconds

First they hired Mike Hargrove. Then they dealt for the first base duo of Ben Broussard and Eduardo Perez. Next they got their hands on Franklyn Gutierrez. Cliff Lee made a half season stop in Seattle in ’09. Then they actually took Russell Branyan off of our hands. And now, the coup de gras….The Grinder, Eric Wedge, has been hired by the Seattle Mariners as their new manager. He comes to Seattle with seven years under his belt, and a mustache!

Man do the Mariners love them some Wahoo sloppy seconds.

In all seriousness, Seattle GM “Trader” Jack Zduriencik has completely butchered this organization. How he still has a job is a mystery to many.

He handed a four year, $36 million contract to an aging Chone Figgins, then moved him from third to second. He moved second baseman Jose Lopez, also past his prime, to third. Both moves tanked. He traded for the cancer of all cancers, Milton Bradley, to be their cleanup hitter, and handed Gutierrez $20 million before he had proven that he was worth the money (Franky G finished ’10 hitting .245/12 HR/64 RBI in 152 games). He traded top prospects for Cliff Lee to go with Felix Hernandez at the top of the rotation, which was a smart move at the time. Except the three through five guys in the rotation were brutal, the bullpen was worse, and the lineup was littered with guys who strike out too much.

Picked to win the AL West by many, the Mariners finished 61-101, the worst record in baseball.

So now they turn The Grind. I guess the first failure of an ex-Tribe manager wasn’t enough in the Pacific Northwest. Reading the Wedge press conference quotes was a classic stroll down memory lane.

“I could write a master’s thesis on what it means to respect the game and everything that goes along with that. But that consistency in what we’re going to show is going to allow them to come out and play it all the way through. It doesn’t matter how many people are in the stands, where we’re playing, the time of the year, what the weather is like, what our record is, the way we play and our effort and the way we go about it is going to be there each and every day. … Those are things that are going to happen here.”

I don’t know about you, but I really miss me some Grind-speak.

“I’m going to stress this to our players — you’ve got to pay attention to the game. You’ve got to watch the game. Pay attention to the game. Not just when you’re up to bat or on the mound or in the field. Watch the game, because you’re going to learn. Manage the game with me. Be a smart baseball player.

On his reunion with old buddy Milton Bradley:

“I think one of Milton’s biggest obstacles is just staying healthy. Hopefully, he’ll be healthy and help us have an opportunity to win some ballgames here. I’m looking forward to having another opportunity to work with him. I don’t hold any grudges. Milton’s a long ways away from that, too. I’m sure our relationship is going to be fine.”

I for one hopes Wedge does well in Seattle. I’m in the minority as a Wedge fan; I think he knows the game, is a decent in game manager, and commands the respect of his players.

Now back to the team he takes over. What is it about the Indians trash that the Mariners find to be a treasure? The history goes back to the 2006 when the M’s were looking for a right-handed stick for their bench. They set their sights on veteran Eduardo Perez, toiling mostly unused on the Indians bench. The decided they would send a young AA shortstop to the Tribe. That kid turned out to be Asdrubal Cabrera.

A month later, the M’s needed left-handed first base bat. They again looked to the East and targeted the Tribe’s Ben Broussard, an average at best stick with a decent glove. In return, the Indians would receive a AAA Center fielder from South Korea.

His name? Shin-S00 Choo.

So the Mariners traded two players who today are cornerstone of the Indians organization for the “Benuardo” first base platoon. The 2006 Mariners fell off the table mid-year, and finished 78-84, last in the AL West. The manager of that team? Mike Hargrove. Perez played 43 games with Seattle, hit .196, and then retired at season’s end. Broussard played in 56 games in ’06, hitting .238. He would play in 99 games in 2007 with the Mariners, before moving on to the Rangers for one more year.

The only team who seemingly loves Russell Branyan more than the Indians? The Mariners, who brought him back mid-season from the Tribe after searching for a power bat.

2011 will be a new era in Seattle baseball. I hear they have a new theme song too. “Come on…..it’s Grind Time, now.”

  • C-Bus Kevin

    Did that mustache come with a windowless van?

  • stin4u

    creepy pic.

  • Eric D

    Good to see Wedgie brought back the ‘stache

  • Reggie Ruckus

    Wedge looks like a 70′s adult film star now. I wasn’t crazy about Wedge as the Tribe’s manager but I don’t lay the blame for all the teams failures at his feet either. The collapse in the last week of 2005 is on him but he was handicapped by payroll issues at the end of his run. I hope Seattle fans are ready for a horrible April followed by good baseball in August and September since that’s how his Tribe teams played. Maybe Seattle can acquire Brandon Phillips. Imagine how hellish his life would be with BP to go with Bradley.

  • Tribe Fan in Toronto

    I’m in fits of laughter…the whole thing from the David Brent-esque managerial Grind-speak to the Magnum P.I. ‘stache to Seattle’s lineup just cracks me up!

  • MrCleaveland

    Nice to see Wedgie get another shot. There’s a lot to like about him. I wish him well.

  • Tron

    Manny Acta must be thrilled, whenever he gets fired for another (almost) 100 loss season, he knows he has a home waiting for him west!

  • Harv 21

    To my fellow older WFNY peeps-

    separated at birth: Wedgie and Big Chuck

  • Max

    @ Harv- I was thinking Stacy Keach, but I can see Schadowski too.

    Growing up with only Channels 3, 5 and 8, Big Chuck and Lil’ John were a big deal in my house. The “Big Laugh” is my text message alert sound on my phone…cracks me up every time

  • THC

    “Jose Lopez, also past his prime”

    HA! He’s 26 years old. He may suck, but past his prime???

  • THC

    Broussard and Perez trades were products of former M’s GM Bill Bavasi. You’re welcome, Seattle.

  • JK

    I think baseball mangers are the most overrated of any sport. Honestly, coaching AL baseball has to be the easiest of any pro sport.

    That being said I think Wedge is a decent coach.

  • Harv 21

    Yep, ‘stache is Keachian.

    Weird that Franky Gut was the main Dodgers prospect we received in the Bradley trade and Wedgie loved him. Now gets to close-up compare the .245 hitter who plays “the right way” with the .300 guy who’s wrong in every way.

    Doubt Milton will be a Mariner this year. That hate-filled heart will stew all winter about Dudley Doowright. Something’s gonna blow real quick in spring training.

  • mgbode

    well, if you are going to copy a MLB team, it would have to be the Indians. am I right?

  • NJ

    One quibble – Seattle’s three through five weren’t brutal.

    Vargas and Fister both had pretty solid years. Vargas was Carmona like. Fister posted a 4.11 ERA with a WHIP of 1.281. Pretty solid for a three and four.

  • BigDOSU

    I sure hope Creepy Wedge and Creepy Branyan manage to “Creep” there way into a picture the first time the Mariners are in town next season.

  • dwhit110

    Given the trade history, perhaps we should give Seattle a call about Travis Hafner?

  • humboldt

    Inexcusable that the iconic WFNY pic of Russel Branyon wasn’t overlayed on the Wedge ‘stache picture. Sickening. Now I’m not going to read the blog for…a few hours

  • PNR

    If lights-out Cliff Lee were pitching in 2007 like he’s pitching now — of course, that would mean by extension that he actually *made* the 2007 post-season roster — Wedge would be sporting that mustache in Cleveland right about now.

  • http://www.waitingfornextyear.com Scott

    “Inexcusable that the iconic WFNY pic of Russel Branyon wasn’t overlayed on the Wedge ‘stache picture.”

    AGREED!

  • EWa

    Wow. Your analysis of Jack Zduriencik’s moves is absolutely horrendous and shows how little you researched before posting this blog…

    While Chone Figgins can be argued to be past his prime, it’s not like he’s 40 (he’s only 32). He was one of the top free agents last year and had the highest OBP in the majors from 2009.

    Jose Lopez just came off one of his best offensive seasons from 2009, and while you say he is also “past his prime”, he’s only 26 and should have just been coming into his prime. The fact that his skills completely fell away was not something anybody saw coming.

    Trading for Milton Bradley, while known as a cancer in the clubhouse, was a legitimately smart move considering we had a lump of nothing in Carlos Silva that was costing almost as much, and we desperately needed offense. It was a low-risk, high-reward gamble that didn’t pay off, and Milton Bradley was never shown to be a cancer to the 2010 Mariners clubhouse. He just sucked.

    The extension to Gutierrez: Ask any Seattle Mariners fan whether they’re upset we signed this guy for 4 years and I can almost guarantee every one will say they’re really happy about it, even after his disappointing offensive season. His defense is why we got him, and he has not disappointed.

    We traded “top prospects” for Cliff Lee? Really?? While one of the guys was a #1 draft choice for us, it was a draft pick from the failed Bavasi regime, and none of the players we sent to the Phillies are expected to become much more than average players (if they even make it to the majors). The general consensus was we got Cliff Lee for a bargain.

    The 3-5 guys in the Seattle rotation in 2010 were “brutal”? Are you kidding me? Our #5 guy (Doug Fister) had the lowest ERA in baseball for the first few months (up until he got hurt), and ended the season with an ERA under 4. Our #4 (Jason Vargas) was consistently good and a very pleasant surprise through practically the entire season, also carrying an ERA under 4. There was really only one spot in the rotation that was bad (filled by Ian Snell, Ryan Rowland-Smith, then minor league call-ups).

    Next time, do at least a LITTLE research on a team you try to talk knowledgeable about. Taking the stance of “they sucked so bad that everything must have been horrible, so I’ll write it as such” just makes you look ignorant.