I am not a fan of sports songs. In the 80′s I loved all those Browns songs like “Bernie Bernie.” Then again, I was six or seven years old at the time. I’ll even give us all the benefit of the doubt and say at one point these songs were cool. I remember back in the 80′s and 90′s thinking that parody songs were hilarious on radio shows like Howard Stern and Opie and Anthony. Anymore though, it all just seems passé and corny.
It seems especially corny in sports songs because they are all so formulaic. Usually there is some stuff about how tough or good your team is. Next ingredient, take a bragging right about your city and put all that in the first verse. Then, invariably throughout the song the artist will shoe-horn as many player names as possible into statements about what they do on the field. Sorry if some of you like these things, but I think that day has come and gone. With that in mind, my stroll around Youtube led me to a hip-hop song by someone calling himself Solo D, which attempts to musically raise the stakes for this weekend’s matchup between the Browns and Dolphins.
I transcribed it (as best I could) so you don’t have to listen to it unless you really want to. I was particularly proud of myself for picking out all the player names, but there were a couple points that no matter how many times I listened, I just couldn’t make the words out. Without further ado, I give you the Browns vs. Dolphins sports song without a title by Solo D.
Chorus: Watch the Browns bow down to the fins
Fins UP!
When the fins take the field some things should be known
We will not lose another game at home
Our aim back on it, locked on the target
11 and 5 we will grind the hardest
Chad Henne he gone move these chains
Defense gone turn the Browns into poo poo stains
We got a few new things added to the playbook
The wildcat style back guarantee they should
See that Davone plays his Bess and the same thing with Hartline
(unintelligible) (unintelligible) he gone start tryin
Defense gone crash the line like some bumper cars
Cleveland try your best and get 16 rushing yards
Don’t worry about the run we got something for Peyton Hillis
We cook running backs the stadium is like a skillet
The Dol-fans are the best we ballin out
come to sunlight to hear the dawg fans holler out
Chorus: Watch the Browns bow down to the fins, to the fins
We gotta start a win streak so yeah we gotta win again
Comin out swinging like Johnson verse Finnegan
And we bout to get it in, Jake Delhomme we’ll get to him
Kendall Langford eats through lines like a played out (unintelligible)
Not finished though, guess who gone share with
Cameron Wake, and Amaya and Davis you know they’re quick
Sean Smith, Crowder, Koa Misi you know Dansby hot
Took Cleveland’s title from now on Miami rocks
Big boy statements see you slippin and we’ll take it
Since the Dolphin nation said that the team gone make it
Second half to the season do what you not used to
Call it a dog fight big boys versus poodles
Chorus: Watch the Browns bow down to the fins, to the fins
There you have it. What do you think Browns fans? Do you wish we had a hip hop star writing original material every week for each Browns matchup? I am quite happy that we do not. If you want to put yourself through it, I have included the vid below.
