While We’re Waiting… Hillis the New King? and James Returns
December 2, 2010A Bit More on This Miami Heat Tampering Investigation…
December 2, 2010I am not a fan of sports songs. In the 80’s I loved all those Browns songs like “Bernie Bernie.” Then again, I was six or seven years old at the time. I’ll even give us all the benefit of the doubt and say at one point these songs were cool. I remember back in the 80’s and 90’s thinking that parody songs were hilarious on radio shows like Howard Stern and Opie and Anthony. Anymore though, it all just seems passé and corny.
It seems especially corny in sports songs because they are all so formulaic. Usually there is some stuff about how tough or good your team is. Next ingredient, take a bragging right about your city and put all that in the first verse. Then, invariably throughout the song the artist will shoe-horn as many player names as possible into statements about what they do on the field. Sorry if some of you like these things, but I think that day has come and gone. With that in mind, my stroll around Youtube led me to a hip-hop song by someone calling himself Solo D, which attempts to musically raise the stakes for this weekend’s matchup between the Browns and Dolphins.
I transcribed it (as best I could) so you don’t have to listen to it unless you really want to. I was particularly proud of myself for picking out all the player names, but there were a couple points that no matter how many times I listened, I just couldn’t make the words out. Without further ado, I give you the Browns vs. Dolphins sports song without a title by Solo D.
Chorus: Watch the Browns bow down to the fins
Fins UP!
When the fins take the field some things should be known
We will not lose another game at home
Our aim back on it, locked on the target
11 and 5 we will grind the hardest
Chad Henne he gone move these chains
Defense gone turn the Browns into poo poo stains
We got a few new things added to the playbook
The wildcat style back guarantee they should
See that Davone plays his Bess and the same thing with Hartline
(unintelligible) (unintelligible) he gone start tryin
Defense gone crash the line like some bumper cars
Cleveland try your best and get 16 rushing yards
Don’t worry about the run we got something for Peyton Hillis
We cook running backs the stadium is like a skillet
The Dol-fans are the best we ballin out
come to sunlight to hear the dawg fans holler out
Chorus: Watch the Browns bow down to the fins, to the fins
We gotta start a win streak so yeah we gotta win again
Comin out swinging like Johnson verse Finnegan
And we bout to get it in, Jake Delhomme we’ll get to him
Kendall Langford eats through lines like a played out (unintelligible)
Not finished though, guess who gone share with
Cameron Wake, and Amaya and Davis you know they’re quick
Sean Smith, Crowder, Koa Misi you know Dansby hot
Took Cleveland’s title from now on Miami rocks
Big boy statements see you slippin and we’ll take it
Since the Dolphin nation said that the team gone make it
Second half to the season do what you not used to
Call it a dog fight big boys versus poodles
Chorus: Watch the Browns bow down to the fins, to the fins
There you have it. What do you think Browns fans? Do you wish we had a hip hop star writing original material every week for each Browns matchup? I am quite happy that we do not. If you want to put yourself through it, I have included the vid below.
19 Comments
SOLOD305(DOT)COM IS NOW BOOKMARKED ON MY WEB BROWSER.
“Defense gone turn the Browns into poo poo stains”
really?
Dolphins vs. Browns…a dog fight?
Is this guy totally unaware of the culture of the Browns and the dog pound, or did he miss the whole Michael Vick thing and he thinks dog-fighting references are funny?
Also, “Fins Up” could be the goofiest slogan in the history of sports. There is nothing remotely scary about dolphins. If I were a Miami fan, and thank goodness I’m not, I just wouldn’t go down that road.
An answer for Peyton Hillis? Let’s just wait and see on that one. The Dolphins are almost exactly average against the rush when it comes to yards allowed per game (14th).
I’m not looking for statistical awareness from this clown, but seriously…
Actually, since I was looking up rushing stats…it appears the Bills are last in the league in rushing yards allowed per game at 167. Run Peyton Run!!!
/officially licking my metaphorical chops
I’m too busy hating on something else Miami-Cleveland related today, so I choose to actually not mind this attempt to make a big deal oot of a very regular NFL Sunday matchup. “Took Cleveland’s title now Miami rocks”… haha I like it.
@3: Don’t turn into Denny!
This is such a bad song. No one can make fun of “Please stay, LeBron” anymore.
‘defense gone turn the Browns into poo poo stains’.
I know you’re all white and such Craig, but it’s spelled ” gon’ “.
Also, this song is teh lame.
I know you’re all white and such Craig, but it’s spelled ” gon’ “.
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Funny, it would be hilarious if Believelander was white as well.
Craig… You had to listen to that quite a few times to transcribe it. Sorry about that.
I smell an 8 Mile style battle rap brewing:
A-Gully VS. Solo D.
I’m taking bets.
Thanks Robbie. It is still in my head.
And Believelander, I apologize for my lack of street cred and awareness.
On second thought, I won’t apologize for it. 🙂
Wow. Um… thanks for that?
I am thanking God right now that youtube is blocked at work, or my morbid curiosity might get the best of me.
However, if the rushing yard over/under is 16 yards, I will take the over please.
FINS UP!!!!
(unintelligible) (unintelligible)
FINS UP!!!
Wow I did not make the Miami-Cleveland connection for the Browns-Phins game. Wow, I sure am knee deep in Queen James’ return.
I think in the end, Queen James will miss a crowd that actually cares- he will never admit it, but he has to. I would have understood CHI or NYK much more than MIA.
Between “fins up” and”fan up”, I’m wondering why Miami even has sports teams?
“(unintelligible) (unintelligible) he gone start tryin”
Wait… someone on their team is gonna start trying? That spells disaster for us.
A rap about Chad Henne?
now I’ve seen it all….
Cool Ray was unavailable for comment.
Why, oh why did I click on that link? If I wasn’t suffering brain damage before(a topic debated by friends and coworkers alike), I certainly am now!