June 18, 2013

The Relief of the Arrival of Draft Day

I really did feel like something of a dummy when the Redskins won the trade battle for the rights to draft Robert Griffin III. I bought into a player and knew that the Browns had the weapons to make the trade happen. When they failed to get it done, I was sad for myself even as I could see some positives for the Browns for not giving up as much as the Redskins did. I was almost more upset that I spent so much time talking about a guy who would never become a Cleveland Brown. That was back when the pre-draft hype was actually fun. Somewhere along the line this turned from being really fun to causing stress and consternation, if not being just downright annoying.

You can figure out exactly where it happened for me because I started reminding myself that this was supposed to be fun in the posts. I lied to you all and said I was still enjoying myself. It’s like when you go bowling once per year and you’re really excited for it. You rent your shoes get a pitcher of beer and play a few games. Then because you haven’t bowled a lot your shoulder starts to groan a bit. Those energetic skips down the lane turn into chores. You’re still bowling and that should be fun, but the beer is low in the pitcher and nearly room temperature. It’s just over. You’ll remember only the fun parts nine or ten months later when you decide that it would be really fun to go bowling again, but if you thought really hard about it you’d actually remember the sore shoulder, warm beer and the strange smell of chemical shoe spray.

I won’t sit here and pretend to be able to tell you exactly what the Browns need to do tonight to make me feel good. It’s like the Supreme Court definition for pornography. “I shall not today attempt further to define the draft picks I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description ["a good draft"]; and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it…” Good drafts take many different looks.

Could it include Trent Richardson? I think so.

Could it include Justin Blackmon? Probably.

Could it include Ryan Tannehill? Yep. It’s possible.

Could it involve two or more players who I haven’t even had across the keys of my keyboard this draft hype season? Not likely, but sure.

The Browns have two picks in the first round right now and the surest way to find disappointment is to paint Tom Heckert into a corner. Having been through all the talk that we’ve been through over the preceding months, there are lots of ways to accomplish improvement tonight and over the next few days. Now that the day is finally here it is feeling fun again. Back to the bowling analogy. Now all the Browns have to do is end the day of bowling with three straight strikes.

And by the way, you really should come on out and watch the draft with us!

  • http://www.cinpleweb.com/ stin4u

    Well said, Craig. However I don’t think the roller coaster stops here. Tomorrow there are bound to be a decent number of fans either a) excited b)livid c)somewhere in between.

    Tomorrow begins the battle between the “what if’s” and the “should haves”.

  • BuckeyeDawg

    …and the first 2013 mock drafts…

  • Garry_Owen

    Hard to believe the draft is already here, with nary a word spoken of it in advance.  Time flies.

  • http://twitter.com/tLotTC LotTC

    Three straight strikes can still end up being a bad game…. Browns need more of a 750 series (a perfect or almost perfect game with 2 additional solid games)

  • The_Real_Shamrock

    Hope for the best expect the worst – my Cleveland Browns mantra until hopefully the day this thing finally turns around and is halfway decent.  I’ll be glad when it’s over but we still have Friday and Saturday too.

  • http://twitter.com/oribiasi oribiasi

    This is very true.  Without using free agency they have put all their eggs in one basket and cannot hope to succeed in their 2012 campaign. 

    After this draft hype is over and all the chips have fallen in their respective places, we will still have “I’ll see you Wednesday” at the helm and “It’s different now!” in the Captain’s chair.  Make no mistake; it will take a miracle for this team to even get 5 wins this year.

  • mgbode

    this is the strangest draft in my memory.  I really want WR/RB/RT in our first 3 picks.  But, I see projected value for each position at each slot.  So, I really don’t even care about the order or have my “absolute” favorites like I usually do.  I certainly have my list of guys I want, but it’s a much bigger list than usual.

    Now, watch Heckert do something completely different.

  • Vindictive_Pat

    Only good draft would be Richardson, Blackmon, Tannehill. – Average Browns fan’d

  • http://twitter.com/oribiasi oribiasi

    They better be careful, these guys.  They can’t get too cute and expect to keep their jobs for long.  There will be a revolt if they mess this one up.  The anger at this team is at the bubbling point and has been since Holms said “5 wins is unacceptable” and then went on to win 4 games. 

    They painted themselves in this corner with poor play, ridiculous mantras (no F.A. for us) and terrible coaching selections.

    Let’s hope this is the time they steer the ship away from the rocks.

  • http://twitter.com/oribiasi oribiasi

    Ugh.

  • Garry_Owen

    Love the description of the draft talk as bowling.  Just substitute “bowling” with “golf” (with requisite descriptions) and you’ve summed up perfectly how I feel about draft talk at this point. 

    Beer me strength until 2000 hrs.     

  • mgbode

    I’ll take the over on 4.5 wins even before seeing the draft results.

  • Mark

    You’d think I would have heard something about this “draft”

  • mgbode

    if they pick Ingram or Upshaw at #22 and they go on to lead us in sacks, then I won’t be upset.  but, there would be quite a bit of questioning tonight/tomorrow on it.

    just another interesting turn for this draft.

  • mgbode

    Beer me too
    *holding hand out waiting for frostee deliciousness

    nevermind, i’ll just go to lunch and get one.  see you guys in a bit :)

  • dwhit110

    nah, those won’t start til Monday :)

  • Brian @ ClevelandSportsTorture

    Who lets a pitcher of beer become room temperature? That, good sir, is your problem.

  • Max

    what about on 5.5 wins?

  • Garry_Owen

    Well, in defense of room temperature, as a burgeoning semallier I would submit that some beers are actually much better when consumed closer to room temperature.  Nothing beats a fine stout or porter at 60 degrees or so. 

    Now this is the kind of “draft” talk that I can get into.  I think I’ll also go have a draft of something. 

  • Roosevelt

    Off topic, I think I’d rather see them fail under H and H for a five more years than see them go out and hire a new GM/President who will trade away Haden, Ward, Taylor, Sheard, and Thomas so that he can start rebuilding with his type of player. 

  • Brian @ ClevelandSportstorture

    Understand the point, but surely you can appreciate the point about letting perfectly drinkable beer at any temperature sit long enough to let a similar cool beverage warm up! 

  • Harv 21

    Welcome to the Super Bowl. 
    This year let there can be no complaints that we won meaningless games and can’t get Eric Berry, we’re about to get impact at #4. No hand-wringing  that  the guy we prayed would fall into the second round is suddenly on stage smiling while he’s handed a Stillers cap, we have a bonus first rounder.  This year we trade unusable picks to move up in later rounds with nothing lost because we couldn’t sign them all anyway. Buckle up, ye addicted gripers, here comes an influx of legit talent, maybe the most since the USFL folded.  This year even Chris Berman will be tolerable.
    Be joyous, Browns Town.  I declare us the A++ winner of the draft winners/losers. 
    ( Also, if things go south, let’s not turn on each other. Maybe an open thread tonight is a tad dangerous).

  • http://twitter.com/oribiasi oribiasi

    FIVE MORE YEARS?  Seriously?

    Look at the Lions — they went from 0-16, to 2-14, to 6-10 and then finally to 10-6, all in a row, and the playoffs.

    We’re not even sniffing 6-10 right now.  And, we’re into year 3!

  • Garry_Owen

    Oh definitely. Don’t let it sit if it should be drunk! If it’s best drunk cold, drink it cold.

  • http://twitter.com/oribiasi oribiasi

    How much do you want to los—um, venture?

  • Harv 21

    uh-oh, it’s early afternoon and Ori’s already going all caps. You guys all have a good grip? Be ready, this might get a little rough.

    [kidding, Ori, kidding]

  • BrownsFanSF

    I’d say 6-10 is possible

  • http://twitter.com/oribiasi oribiasi

    Step right up and place your bet, buddy.

  • http://www.facebook.com/exit322 Josh Stein

    Given the NFL Draft is now a three day affair, I really like this analogy.

  • http://twitter.com/oribiasi oribiasi

    You know, I’m right here.  You can respond directly to me.  My bark is way worse than my bite.

    (see, it’s a topical, Browns joke).

  • BrownsFanSF

    Hope springs eternal on draft day Harv.  Lets soak it up!

  • MrCleaveland

    There’s been no new draft news in ages . . . well, an hour at least. I’m Jonesin’. Shallow breathing, palpitations, clammy hands, profuse sweating. Anybody got anything? Hell, make something up, I don’t care. I NEED DRAFT NEWS . . . (gack) . . . 

  • Garry_Owen

    Point of order, for the good of the group:  I believe the NFL just increased the roster size for teams from 80 to 90, so we could, in theory, sign 13 draft picks (and a couple of undrafted FAs).

    Which makes those 7-round mock drafts all that more important!!  I’d better consult one right away.  Only 6 hours until show time, and I know the Browns are looking for my opinion.  Let’s see, I know I had a couple of them lying around here somewhere . . .  Maybe under that greasy reuben wrapper from lunch . . .

  • porckchopexpress

    Thats amazing that you mention bowling and pornography (well via the SC)   I was just talking to some guys at work about opening up a combination Strip Club Bowling alley.  We were going to call it Gutter Ballz to let people know what quality of entertainment awaits them, we also put a Z in place of an S because that signifies to the kids today that we are a hip, happening place to have a rollicking good time. 

  • mgbode

    ale or porter?

  • mgbode

    let’s see how the draft plays out :)

  • mgbode

    I never wage money, but we could put something fun on the line in a gentlemen’s bet.  Perhaps we could come up with a post for each other that must be posted each morning in the WYAW thread for a couple weeks after the season?

  • mgbode

    beer engines are a fine invention

  • mgbode

    the Buffalo Bills just offered us a Ditka-style offer for the #4 pick

    no, they didn’t but hey, let’s see if it catches on and becomes real!

  • mgbode

    yet the active roster remains 46 (QB3) and total roster 53.   the 90 is just for bodies banging into each other in August

  • mgbode

    would the dancing be between the lanes or in it’s own separate area like pool hall/bowling alley’s do?

    I would think between the lanes would open yourself up to great puns, but also lawsuits with an errant bowling ball.

  • porckchopexpress

    I say this with all sincerity I’m praying that the Browns don’t do something Titanically stupid tonight, if nothing else then for your well-being. 
    However since I know the Browns so well I am frantically working with my top level computer science team to create a new typeface that will combine the best elements of caps lock, bold, and elephant,  we have gone a step further and infused the look with pure capsaicin, giving it the power to melt someone’s face like that Nazi in Indiana Jones.  While it makes no sound my team confirms to me that it will actually cause the equivalent effect of 1000 decibles of noise to the viewer.  The science behind it is amazing, but I hope to have trial version ready for you to use when the Browns take Tannehill, Weeden, and Cousins with their first three picks as Holmgren shows he can go “all in” on QBs.  There’s hope that this typeface will give enough satisfaction to your venting that your head doesn’t explode.  I would probably take a laxative now, just to clear yourself out just in case :)

  • Garry_Owen

    What about practice squad?  Are they able to keep more bodies there?

  • Harv 21

    http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1161175-nfl-draft-rumors-browns-targeting-trent-richardson-and-morris-claiborne

    in other words, sorry, I got nothing. As U.S. poet laureate Thomas Petty once wrote, “the waiiiiiiting is the hardest part.”

  • Garry_Owen

    Sing it.

  • MrCleaveland

     Thanks, guys. That helped. My hands stopped shaking long enough for me to find that Seattle radio station online. Holmgren was on and he was spilling his guts. Looks like we’re going to be taking DeVier Posey at #4.

  • Garry_Owen

    Bob Lamonte says that’s a good pick. 

  • mgbode

    I don’t think so.

  • saggy

    Is it too early/late for a quick plea for CLAIBORNE?!?!?

  • porckchopexpress

    He also wrote Even the losers get lucky sometimes.  So there is hope.  

    God, Petty was the third rockingest laureate ceremony I’ve ever been to.  Sorry but Ted Kooser’s event was inSANE!!! ”   Maybe you all will have to live your whole lives without seeing Carmen Electra doing body shots of absinthe out of a kangaroo’s pouch, but not this guy!  KOOOZ WHASUP!!!???  all night long with that.  Cypress Hill performing with B Real dressed up like Ezra Pound- just a great great time