April 17, 2014

While We’re Waiting… Cavs Bench Jokes

While We’re Waiting serves as the early morning gathering of WFNY-esque information for your viewing pleasure. Have something you think we should see? Send it to our tips email at tips@waitingfornextyear.com.

Yeah, it’s gotten so bad that we’re resorting to high school-esque jokes: “The Cavaliers bench is bad. How bad are they you ask? Well, let’s break it down, Yo Momma style:

– The Cavs bench is so bad, I’m jealous of the Charlotte Bobcats’ depth.
– The Cavs bench is so bad, Byron Scott doesn’t sub them in, the bench physically rejects them every 10 minutes.
– The Cavs bench is so bad, I’d rather stick a hanger on the stove, let it sit there for like a half hour, take it off and stab it in my tongue slow like ssssssssss than watch the second quarter of a Cavs game.” [Angelo Benedetti/Fear The Sword]

Analyzing the likely NBA playoff teams that could most use Anderson Varejao, if he’s actually on the market: “1. BOSTON CELTICS — I already mentioned how bad the Spurs are on the offensive glass, but the Celtics are even worse. They’re dead last in offensive rebounding, and it’s by almost five rebounds a game, which is the largest margin through the first couple weeks. When Kevin Garnett goes out, they get worse in nearly every way. Darko is still Darko and Chris Wilcox is still Chris Wilcox. If they had Varejao playing the 5 or the 4 with Wilcox/Milicic or Garnett manning the 5, they would grab more rebounds. The Celtics are so bad on the offensive glass, any addition to their team would help, but Varejao’s skill set is perfect for them, and you know he and Rajon Rondo would run at least four or five pick-n-rolls a game to fool opposing defenses.” [Spencer Lund/Dime Magazine]

Talking about fixes for that really bad Indians starting rotation: “My choice — and I warn you, it’s very boring — is Joe Saunders. He’s reliable; despite terribly mediocre peripherals, he’s been around average at actually preventing runs (and usually slightly better) for each of the last six seasons. Jim Bowden guesses that he’ll go for two years and $14 million, which seems too high; as a marginal 32-year-old, it should be all one-year deals from here on out for Saunders. If he can get Bowden’s deal somewhere, you might go to the startlingly similar Joe Blanton, who Bowden has at one year and $5 million. I gravitated toward Saunders because he’s been slightly better lately and because it seems like the rotation could use a lefty, but the difference isn’t great. Both are relatively dependable arms who could throw the 180-200 average innings a good rotation needs from its fourth starter.” [Bill Parker/Let's Go Tribe]

Comparing Brandon Weededn to Derek Anderson and asking, maybe, if that’s a good ting? “If you squint hard enough at your television screen, you might see it. From the No. 3 jersey to their tall, lanky builds and love for winging a careless interception downfield, Brandon Weeden has got a little Derek Anderson in his game. That will inevitably come off as an insult, even though one could argue Anderson was the best Browns quarterback of the expansion era. In the end, it was Anderson’s maddening inconsistency that was his downfall. He could have an outstanding game one week and a terrible game the next. That is the difference between the star players and the also-rans – the stars play like the good Anderson every week.” [Jimmy Weinland/Dawg Pound Daily]

Previewing tomorrow’s game in Jerry World, starting off with that familiar Cowboys D: “Who could forget Rob Ryan? The Cleveland Browns defensive coordinator from 2009-10 became a celebrity among the NFL circles. He was boisterous. He was confident. He swore. He didn’t care what others thought. His defense was… ok. … Ryan is now the defensive coordination of the Browns’ opponent Sunday, the Dallas Cowboys. The Cowboys defense is… ok. … In nine games, the Cowboys are ranked near the top third in defensive yards allowed per game (eighth at 318.8), rushing yards allowed (13th at 105.2) and passing yards (seventh at 213.6). Not great, but not bad either. OK.” [Don Delco/The Orange & Brown Report]

Yet, there’s still a monster Ohio football game awaiting this afternoon: “Camp Randall Stadium. It’s been a house of horrors for Ohio State. In the past 13 trips to Madison, the Buckeyes are 6-6-1. Four times they’ve entered undefeated and four times they’ve left without a win. Thrice the Badgers have ended long Ohio State winning streaks at Camp Randall. In 1958, it was a 13-game unbeaten streak, while the “Lee Evans Game” in 2003 ended a 19-game Ohio State winning streak. The Buckeyes had been victors of 12 consecutive games over two seasons when they lost at Wisconsin in 2010. On Saturday, Wisconsin is looking to continue that trend. The Ohio State-Wisconsin game, once an afterthought, has grown into one of the top games in not only the Big Ten but also the country.” [Kyle Rowland/Eleven Warriors]

  • http://twitter.com/CLoudyDIREwolf C.Cham

    Cavs bench is so bad, Micheal Jackson wouldn’t use them to back him up in a parking lot knife fight.