Kyrie Irving hasn’t spoken to Dion Waiters since trade
January 7, 2015Everything you need to know about J.R. Smith
January 7, 2015In a town on Lake Erie, in the year twenty twelve,
Came a man into whose praise I must delve.
His name was Di-on, for the Cavs he would play.
For my Cavs were his team, until just Monday.
Drafted from ‘Cuse, from Philly he came,
He thought all the world ought know his name.
“‘Bron is no good, Westbrook a slouch,
They’ll soon be playing 2K on the couch.”
Basketball was his game, wine and gold number three,
A mercurial hothead on the court he would be.
A French Bulldog’s impression he’d tend to do,
A feisty little guy, not unlike Scrappy-Doo.
From fans’ barbs he seldom did slow,
Because buckets tell the truth as we all know.
He was oft’ sloppy, picked fights, his bad jumpers we’d dread.
So? He was ours—he was our knucklehead.
He was far from perfect, on D he could sag.
But when the J was on, it tasted like swag.
He was our knucklehead, he was our Dion.
But Griffin traded him, and then poof! he was gone!
With him went heart, great game and great fun,
Hellacious dunks, unprovoked shouts of “And one!,”
Defender crumplers, dagger jumpers,
Backboard thumpers and crowd re-pumpers,
Forever gone from deep in Q,
Of ye I hardly knew.
How much you’ll be missed, with words I can’t tell.
Thanks for the memories D, a most fond farewell.
…As I lie here distraught, o’er my sobs I hear news,
Comes a new knucklehead! with greater tattoos!
His name is J.R.: a sixth man; not a star.
But he must play well, for the Cavs to go far.
The Cavs have problems, only some he can solve,
Of their defensive sins, he cannot absolve.
He had a great J, once ‘pon a time,
He must be no dud, no lemon, no lime.
He’s sure to be fun, he’s crazy they tell
Of this streaky shooter, straight from coaches’ hell.
His game will outrage, that much is sure.
And just when you’re through? A jumper so pure.
The Cavs need J.R. to have a chance at a ‘ship,
For they’re not on the radar now, not even a blip.
If he’s up for the task, we’re yet to see,
But he’s bound to make us yell at the TV.
For these reckless guards, I’ve just opined;
J.R. and Dion, two of the same kind.
This was my homage, my tribute you’ve read,
To basketball fools, to them knuckleheads.
3 Comments
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I’m a Dion guy, as the WFNY commenter must clarify, but let me say this about that: if Dion put as much effort into defense as Kyle put into this piece, I dare say he’d still be alternately strutting and pouting here.
Btw, is it fun to write this sort of long rhyme? Some peeps so clearly love it.
Mozgov on his way from Denver this helps explain the prior trade.