Hey Hey Kansas City: Browns – Chiefs Preview
December 26, 2015Terrelle Pryor inactive, Dwayne Bowe active for Browns matchup against the Chiefs
December 27, 2015Cleveland Browns fans, if you’re ever under a falling building and somebody runs up and offers to pick you up and carry you to safety, don’t think, don’t pause, don’t hesitate for a moment, just spit in their eye. What does that mean? It means we’re going to Kansas City!
Of course, the last team the Browns beat was San Francisco. Francisco! That’s fun to say! Francisco… Frannncisco… Franciscooo…
So, hey, you guessed it. WFNY has a special Christmas edition of the Browns roundtable this week despite the complete disaster the team has been this year. May your days be merry and your Christmas 60 degrees and sunny (everyone deserves a year off from white, right?).
Browns Christmas
Is Johnny Manziel getting gifts or coal in his stocking this weekend?
Craig: Coal for sure. He’s been better, but to categorize him as skipping the naughty list seems like a stretch. I guess it depends on who Santa listens to most. If Mike Pettine has any say, Manziel is getting coal for sure. Johnny is like the last minute kind of guy thinking he can cram good deeds in the week before Christmas to undo all the ills.
Joe: I think that Johnny Manziel will get gifts in his stocking this weekend. Manziel has really made a big improvement in these last few games, giving the Browns and their fans a little hope for the future. He has shown, albeit in a short stretch, that he can run a professional offense and score points for his team. I believe he has shown enough to give him a chance to stick around next season and is definitely worthy of gifts for the Browns who have had their trouble with quarterbacks.
Michael: I am all about redemption and the last shall be first, so Manziel’s recent dedication inside the walls of Berea and doing whatever he has done to put himself back in the good graces of the coaching staff to start is enough for me. Now, I don’t know if he oughta go sailin’ outside no pocket with nothin’ between the ground and his brains but a piece of government plastic.
Josh: Can alcohol count as a gift? No, but seriously, he will receive a gift, not coal. Johnny Manziel, although he has had some low points in 2015, has transformed himself both on and off the field so far this season. Here’s to hoping he can continue that development heading into 2016, if he is given the chance.
Scott: Eh, I’m willing to give him a few gifts. By all accounts, the dude has worked his ass off, become a terrific locker room guy, and has shown the willingness to put in at least some of the work required to grow beyond what natural talent provides. In fact, give him Cam Erving’s gifts too, while we’re at it.
Will: Oh hell, let’s give him some gifts. Maybe a drone to fly over the field so he can create his own all-22 tape?
Who is the Browns version of the Charlie Brown tree? (Player who you doesn’t get much respect, but is worth a some love and can be a good, little tree)
Craig: I’m going totally off the board and saying Connor Shaw. He’s the Cleveland Browns backup quarterback of the future. Austin Davis and Connor Shaw should be more than enough backup quarterback for any team. It’s like the most meaningless conversation with the amount of change forthcoming, but this idea that the Browns will not only need, but keep Josh McCown into next season is silliness.
Joe: I think Mitchell Schwartz is the Charlie Brown tree. He has really played well this season, seemingly improving every season in the NFL. The Browns should try to resign the young tackle. He has been steady this season, especially in the passing game. Mitchell has definitely not been the problem on the offensive line this season.
Michael: Christian Kirksey is having a surprisingly good season in the midst of a terrible defense. He appears to be worth keeping and might look good with some decorations and tinsel around him.
Josh: Joe Thomas. One of the best offensive tackles in NFL history, Browns fans aren’t going to realize how good he is and how much they miss him until he either retires or is traded away from the Dawg Pound. He has made the Pro Bowl in every season he has been on the league.
Scott: I’m with Josh on this. I maintain that fans have no idea how blessed they are to have a left tackle like Thomas. Even after he was named to the Pro Bowl, some fans were complaining on Twitter.
Joe Thomas and Alex Mac made the pro bowl. Clearly no one saw them play this year. #BigPlayBarnage deserved it
— Nathan Garofalo (@GarofaloNathan) December 23, 2015
#JoeThomas & #AlexMack should give their Pro Bowl Bonuses to @garybarnidge, those two don't belong & Barnidge got screwed! #CantRunTheBall
— Daniel Pickett (@AdvoDan) December 23, 2015
https://twitter.com/ThisDudeEli/status/679548326858076160
https://twitter.com/MuggsyMerz/status/679535854897901568
I mean, who are these people? Did Barnidge have a good year? Sure, but so did a host of other tight ends. Thomas is literally one of the best players in the entire league. But you can’t argue with dumb.
Will: Dopes like those above aside, I think Joe T. (generally) gets the kudos he deserves. As far as someone who doesn’t, that’s a tricky question. Maybe Karlos Dansby? He’s a relatively new Brown and getting up there in years, so there’s a sense that he’s near the end of the line, but he’s played some decent ball since he’s been in town. That’s the best I can come up with. I can barely contain my excitement as I type this.
When you discuss being a Cleveland Browns fan with relatives over the holidays, what portion of the fanhood makes you feel most like you are wearing pink fuzzy bunny pajamas?
Craig: The draft talk always makes me feel like a naive little kid. The draft hasn’t mattered in so very long across so many different regimes, but it’s still the dream we cling to if the Browns can just luck into someone with an ability to play to the level that they earn their star power1 then tomorrow could be just a little bit brighter.
Joe: The portion that is most like wearing the pink fuzzy bunny pajamas is the caring so much to watch every single game, even when they are in line for a big loss and another losing season. I put myself through some tough games because of my fanhood of this team. It may be look outlandish to do this every week, but it is what it is to be a Browns fan.
Michael: I don’t embarrass easily, but if someone knows enough to bring up our run defense I feel as if I’m standing in those pajamas in front of everyone.
Josh : Every part. When I start with “I am a Cleveland Browns fan”, it’s almost like
I started from the bottom…and I’m still here.
Scott: There’s a universal understanding in my family that the Browns are hot garbage. We laugh together. The only ones who should be embarrassed are those collecting paychecks in Berea.
Will: We don’t discuss the Browns, really. We try to enjoy the holidays.
Playing off Scott’s WWW on Monday about Appointment Television Players, what player would you most want to kidnap to be on the Browns for their Christmas weekend game?
Craig: I feel dirty even saying it but A.J. Green is who I would kidnap. Antonio Brown is up there too, but A.J. Green is so much fun to watch, you know, in a vacuum where he doesn’t play for the Bengals.
Joe: I would kidnap defensive lineman Aaron Donald of the Rams. He fits exactly what the Browns miss so much, a defensive lineman that makes plays both versus the run and pass. He is toughest lineman in the league to block along with J.J. Watt. He can seemingly play anywhere on the line. He causes havoc on the opposing offensive line and demands double teams almost every play. He would look nice on the Browns horrible defense this weekend.
Michael: It would have been Tyrann Mathieu had he not torn his ACL last weekend. Having a player such as Khalil Mack would be great fun, but I cannot pass up the opportunity to settle the win-win debate from the 2007 NFL Draft and grab Adrian Peterson to pair with Joe Thomas.
Josh: Although it’s not just one player, I would grab all the players who we passed on in the draft due to trading down (example: Julio Jones), on the current Browns. Yeah, hindsight’s 20/20, but imagine how good this team would look if we had guys like Jones and didn’t trade down for more draft picks.
Scott: Any of them? Give me Odell Beckham Jr. He can’t play for the Giants this week anyways.
Will: Receivers are great, but I’d love a really, really good running back. Like, what-Trent-Richardson-should-have-been good. Or Peyton-Hillis-for-that-one-season good. Todd Gurley would be a delight.
Other than a Miracle on One Arrowhead Drive; what do the Browns need to do to win against the Kansas City Chiefs?
Craig: lolol. This reminds me of the scrapped “The Browns Will Win If…” feature we used to do. I don’t have the stomach for it. You end up talking yourself into some wacky scenario where the Browns run the ball, control the clock and score on special teams and defense. Just stop. Have a Merry Christmas and miss this game. I’m almost definitely going to miss it until Monday morning on the NFL app, so I am recommending everyone else do the same.
Joe: The Browns need to play defense. It’s that simple. The Browns cannot allow Alex Smith and the Chiefs offense to roll over them like the Seahawks and pretty much every offense has so far this season. The Browns offense is not the problem on the Browns. Yes, they are not perfect, but the reason the Browns have lost so many this season has been the horrible defense. The Browns much get pressure on Alex Smith and force turnovers because I am not sure they can end drives any other way.
Michael: A team playing strong defense, who can run the ball and has a quarterback who does not make crucial mistakes is about the worst matchup the Browns could get especially playing in the second toughest road venue in the NFL (the week after playing in the toughest). Hmmm…
There must have been some magic in that
new orange helmet worn
For when Manziel placed it on his head
he began to dance around
Josh: Johnny Manziel needs to somehow dominate the game, like he did at times at Texas A&M, for the Browns to have any shot (even though the chances are slim). Or, maybe Dwayne Bowe could return to his Kansas City-self and actually somewhat make that nine million dollars that is guaranteed.
Scott: Look: They’re not winning this game. Take what happened last week in Seattle and add a tight end that absolutely no one on the Browns can cover, and you’ll have this week’s game. Sure, Alex Smith may not be Russell Willson, but he doesn’t have to be. They have playmakers at every skill position on both sides of the ball. Watch the game because you’re a fan, but don’t expect a win. Just embrace the absurdity.
Will: Food poisoning. They need a whole bunch of Chiefs to come down with food poisoning.
- looking at you Johnny [↩]