Baseball is near, and remembering Phife and Garry: While We’re Waiting…

Good morning WFNY! And welcome back to another fine week in this corner of the internet. Hopefully you all have recovered from your pastel hangovers of Easter weekend and are ready to dive back into some sports. Now that Easter has come and gone, it means baseball is so close we can practically smell it. So without further ado, lets dive right in.

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With roughly one week remaining until Cleveland Indians Opening Day, I thought it would be best to use this space to offer some random thoughts on the city’s baseball team that have bubbled up throughout Spring Training:

• I’m glad to see the team not getting too cute with Tyler Naquin’s arbitration clock heading into Opening Day. You could argue that bringing Francicso Lindor up on Day 1 last season would not have guaranteed a postseason bid, but I’d immediately counter back that their chances would have been better. That’s all I ask from this team: Maximize your opportunity. With Naquin, not only is he going to be 25 in less than a month, he’s hitting the cover off of the ball, blasting yet another home run this weekend. The Big Show is a lot different than the Cactus League, but given where the team’s outfield is, they need him up there.

• Yan Gomes is insane. His defense, however, has always been there. Tribe fans need him to stay healthy and be a little more patient at the plate.

• Juan Uribe will be a ton of fun to watch. Don’t get me wrong: He’ll be very, very frustrating at times, but if you had to put money on which member of the Indians will hit the farthest home run in 2016, you’d be wise to put it on the veteran third baseman.

https://vine.co/v/iDerTh0hluq

• In the wake of Michael Brantley’s shoulder and all of the other story lines in Arizona, one guy suspiciously under-discussed is second baseman Jason Kipnis. He’ll have to be a big part in this team’s success if they’re going to have any, and while his 2013 and 2015 were solid, 2014 was not. There’s literally no credence to be made to the even-odd thing, but given how little we’ve talked about the All-Star to this point, he deserved a mention.

• I wish I were more confident in Cleveland’s bullpen. I have no reason to be concerned outside of how big of a role I feel the unit is going to have to have if they make the postseason. Kansas City’s pen is unhittable and they’re defending champions. Just saying.

• I am very much looking forward to baseball being back. I watched the Tribe lace into the Milwaukee Brewers on Sunday, one day after watching the Giants and Cubs randomly play on Saturday. (And yes, I watched three of four March Madness games and may have a problem, but that’s a different story for a different day.) Baseball means spring and stadium beers and watching the sport I grew up playing. I’m enjoying every minute of Cavs basketball—I refuse to take this team for granted—but Indians baseball needs to get here, and fast.

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It goes without saying that too many culturally significant people have passed away in the last week. As if Phife Dawg’s passing wasn’t enough, the world also lost Garry Shandling just days later. The world loses important people every day, some just more well known than others. I’ve always said that the one saving grace to these unfortunate moments are the hours and days that follow where some of the world’s most talented story tellers and essayists allow us to relive the best moments of said individuals’ lives. While Robin Williams’ passing still sticks with me because of not just his sheer genius, but the stories which were published immediately following his death, some of the work published about both Shandling and the Tribe Called Quest frontman have been nothing short of terrific.

If I was limited to just one piece on each man, I would recommend “The Legacy of A Tribe Called Quest” by Toure (New York Times) and “Garry Shandling’s Benevolent Spirit” from The New Yorker.

And you all know that I’m a sucker for quotes about hard work and success. This Shandling passage, as shared by Don Van Natta Jr., is perfect.

"You succeed or fail on your own." — Garry Shandling, one of the best ever, on the appeal of stand-up in 1982. RIP. pic.twitter.com/aT0d2i18lD

— Don Van Natta Jr. (@DVNJr) March 24, 2016

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Sometimes when there aren’t enough takes to go around, people resort to #ActualSportswriting

“Brotherhood” by Howard Beck (Belacher Report): “The seeds of a brilliant friendship were sown that day, a bond that has endured from prep-school prominence to NBA fame, through championships and controversy and Olympic glory, through scoring titles and MVP campaigns and seismic shakeups—a blockbuster trade, a capital-D Decision, a poetic homecoming—through marriages and fatherhood and everything else that happens on the way from adolescence into adulthood. Each is the other’s confidant and counselor, the support system that never fails. They are friends first, rivals second, and that order is never in doubt.”¹

“Fight” by Dan Berry (New York Times): “Numbered balls of chance rattle and rise two nights a week down at the cavernous community hall of Sts. Peter and Paul Ukrainian Orthodox Church. It’s called a good bingo when your number comes up. But that last Saturday before Christmas offered no good bingos. The night was reserved for a boxing event billed as Season’s Beatings, which had prompted a newspaper deliveryman named Anthony Taylor to pull up in his clattering Dodge Caravan. Twenty-four years old, 5 feet tall, 115 pounds, about to turn pro.”²

“Bill Walton’s Long, Strange Tale of NBA Survival” by Sam Anderson (NYTimes Magazine): “Walton is another of San Diego’s grand natural treasures: a 1970s basketball superstar, celebrated sports broadcaster, proud public hippie and — to quote the man himself — ‘the most-injured athlete in the history of sports.’ He is now 63, at least in regular human years, but his body has always operated on some other, more severe time scale. His injuries have been relentless; his life story reads like a jock Book of Job. Walton has had 37 orthopedic operations, many of which came at the worst possible moment. The biggest difference between him and any of the other greats you’d care to name — Michael Jordan, Bill Russell, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Wilt Chamberlain, Shaquille O’Neal, Larry Bird — is that Walton’s brilliant career barely ever happened.”³

“Here’s what would happen if the 1985-86 Celtics played this year’s Warriors” by Bob Ryan (Boston Globe): “And it was perfectly fitting, therefore, that this glorious display of both the best of the old and the best of the new was decided when Larry Bird broke the game’s 10th tie with a by-the-numbers, post-up, turnaround 13-foot jumper over the outstretched arm of Andre Iguodala with 11 seconds remaining. A Stephen Curry 3-point miss, followed by a Robert Parish rebound and two game-icing free throws made it official.”⁴

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And finally…

Even though Last Week Tonight was off for the Easter holiday, John Oliver was still kind enough to leave us with this web exclusive gem. Enjoy!

1. Yes, this is the piece that led to countless headlines and spots on talking head debate shows across all major networks last week. It also led to the Cavs’ brass pulling LeBron aside and telling him to cut the shit. It’s great work buy a great reporter and if you haven’t read it yet it’s well worth your time. [↩]
2. Datelined in Youngstown, Ohio, this is the piece of sportswriting you’re about to hear an awful lot about. Rarely is it wise to drop a story on a holiday, but this one is going to have some substantial shelf life. [↩]
3. While not a fan of Walton’s I’ve always been intrigued by what he’s meant to the league following his career as a big man. Factor in that I’m a big fan of the Grateful Dead and this one resonated quite a bit. [↩]
4. Complete with box score, this piece of narrative fiction by one of the craft’s best is worth your time. It’s not easy to do fake game recaps that span generations, but Ryan pulls this one off. [↩]