Browns select LB Scooby Wright of Arizona with pick No. 250, their final selection of the 2016 NFL Draft
April 30, 2016Draft Coverage, Cavs Chemistry, and Drake’s Views: While We’re Waiting…
May 2, 2016The R&B singer Brandy once had a hit song called “Almost Doesn’t Count.” The very same Brandy was also famously accused of causing a fatal, chain-reaction car crash on an L.A. freeway in 2006. Either of these examples make fine metaphors for the Cleveland Indians’ weekend visit to South Philly. If you’re now reading this while drunk on brandy, by the way, that would also make sense.
Just seven days ago, the Indians were swaggering king slayers, fresh off sweeping and thoroughly embarrassing the mighty Tigers in Detroit. That 3-0 start to the road trip had the Tribe at 9-7 overall, with favorable visits to Minnesota and Philadelphia lining up in front of them, and Michael Brantley heading back to the line-up. Would Tito Francona finally notch his first winning April as the Indians skipper? …Nope! After dropping two of three to the Twins in walk-off fashion, Cleveland carried its shit-luck momentum right into the City of Brother Love, losing three more one-run contests in an on-going opera of frustration. Somehow, this team is now 10-12, and despite Fangraphs and Pythagoras continually predicting an inevitable shift in their fortunes, things just don’t ever seem to change.
Rather than recapping all three of the weekend’s contests or joking about how it clearly isn’t actually always sunny in Philadelphia—har har har har—I think it makes more sense to select three moments for closer inspection. These plays, and the false hope that came with them, offer some useful evidence as to why this Francona-era Indians team has likely drained 5-10 years off my life expectancy.
Rant No. 1 Cody Allen to the Rescue
The biggest takeaway from Friday night’s 4-3 loss, obviously, was the last pitch thrown—a 3-2 fastball from Cody Allen that Ryan Howard swatted out of the park before rounding the bases in his Hoveround mobility scooter. Allen, as we all know by now, has a bit of a tie-game phobia. It’s not his fault. As a child, little Cody was nearly killed when a non-save situation rose out of a central Florida swamp and tried to eat him whole. So, the fact that he couldn’t maintain a 3-3 game in the 11th inning is forgivable. The frustration is that we’d all been led to believe, ever so briefly, that Cody had finally conquered his fears.
In the bottom of the 10th inning, after the unflappable Jeff Manship had uncharacteristically lit the proverbial Goodyears on fire, Francona called on Cody Allen to save the day with the bases loaded and just one out—the game on the line.
The game was tied at 3. It wasn’t a save situation. Cody jogged out to the mound. He could hear his own footsteps pounding into the turf like war drums. He was a young man, but old of stride. His glove smelled of pickled herring and aftershave. The rosin bag sat there at the base of the hill alone. He wiped the sweat from his brow and thought of Orlando. The swamps. The non-save situation.
Sorry, that was Ernest Hemingway describing Cody Allen. It’s been a long weekend. Anyway, Cody showed true courage. He struck out Freddy Galvis, who is a good player I’d never heard of, then got Maikel Franco (who’s apparently Philly’s Lindor) to ground out to Cleveland’s Lindor. The Manship was safely brought ashore and Cody Allen was hailed a hero… until he blew the game 10 minutes later and was re-designated a “f%#@ing bum.”
https://vine.co/v/iPxvLj0PP6K
A similar injustice came back in the fifth inning. Corey Kluber—forced to swing a bat because everything is dumb—actually launched his own rally with a legit double to left field. I tried to launch a #KluBat hashtag afterwards. It didn’t take. Still, it was nice to see the guy who never gets any run support have a chance to finally take matters into his own hands. It was the first extra-base hit by an Indians pitcher since CC hit a homer against the Dodgers in 2008. Better still, Kluber scored on a Rajai Davis single, and Jason Kipnis bopped a two-run homer. It was 3-0 Tribe, and Corey was cruising… until he gave up three runs in the bottom of the inning and eventually left with a no-decision.
Rant No. 2: A Swing and a Drive!
If the hit Broadway show Hamilton were, in fact, about Tom Hamilton, rather than Alexander, it would feature some peppy, up-tempo numbers built-around the longtime Tribe announcer’s beloved catch phrases. The big, featured number—“A Swing and a Drive”—would obviously include acrobatic swing dancing and some mimed bat flips to boot. During a point of conflict or sadness in the production, however, the performance of “A Swing and a Drive” would stop suddenly when we’d discover that Hamilton had, tragically, misjudged the distance of a flyball in a key situation—falsely raising the hopes of the audience. On the Original Cast Recording of the musical, this song would be titled “A Swing and a Drive (Juan Uribe).” There would also be a reprise, “A Swing and a Drive (Jason Kipnis).”
Good god, Saturday’s 4-3 loss was hard to watch. After scratching back from a 3-0 deficit in Trevor Bauer’s first start of the year, the Indians got a rally going in the 8th inning, putting runners on first and second with two outs, trailing by one. Phillies reliever Colton Murray uncorked a wild pitch, moving Lindor and Santana into scoring position as Juan Uribe looked for the big go-ahead hit. Okay, so maybe we shouldn’t have expected heroism from Juan Uribe. But on a 1-1 pitch, he absolutely tattooed a ball to left-center that Tom Hamilton was absolutely convinced was a three-run homer. Uribe seemed to think so, too, tossing his bat with some gusto. Observing the game from the comfort of my La-Z-Boy, I, too, was fooled into a brief moment of joy and hope for the future.
https://vine.co/v/ixA0L9qmEbg
The ball was caught.
Minutes earlier, Tommy Hunter had made his Indians debut and gave up the go-ahead Philly run on a pair of weak-ass bloopy garbage hits that had the same trajectories as two fat toddlers thrown into a swimming pool.
Then, as if we needed more pain, more cruelty, Jason Kipnis came to the plate with a chance to win the game in the ninth against none other than former Cleveland-Columbus shuttle bus driver Jeanmar Gomez—impossibly reborn as a Major League closer. With runners on second and third, a hit could give Cleveland the lead. Kipnis jumped on a 2-2 pitch and hit a screamer to deep right.
https://vine.co/v/ixAEXhg0K7W
Peter Bourjos, or Jason Bourne, or somebody, leaped up and caught it, of course. At that moment, Tom Hamilton strongly considered dropping his first on-air F-bomb, which everybody listening would have been 100 percent OK with.
Rant No. 3: Balk of the Town
I just watched Sunday’s series capper, and yet I already seem incapable of remembering any detail of it beyond Danny Salazar balking in a run thanks to some muddy conditions in the third inning. I guess it’s not always sunny in Philadelphia, eh? Hahahahahahahahaha!
https://vine.co/v/ixAFniDiVL5
Fortunately they got the mound all cleaned up for the Phillies young starter Vincent Velasquez (after he allowed the first two batters to reach base), who held the Indians to two hits in six innings and has a 1.44 ERA on the season. I had Vincent Velasquez on my fantasy team last year, but it’s an AL-only league, so I lost him when he went from Houston to Philly. Similar story, I had Jake Arrieta as a young struggling Oriole in that same league for two years. If you’d like to hear more about the storied history of my fantasy baseball team, hit me up in the comments section.
Silver linings: Carlos Santana went deep off Hector Neris in the ninth inning to keep alive the fun narrative of one-run losses. I suppose we could also say that Danny Salazar pitched well again, because he certainly did: 7 IP, 2 ER, 3 H, 2 BB 8 K. He’s been the best Tribe pitcher this year. But he’s 2-2. And the Indians are 10-12. Yan Gomes has completely forgotten his 2014 opposite field stroke and looks like a blind windmill. His back-up is now on the DL.
Can our little band of under-achievers turn it around in May? Well, as the R&B singer Brandy once sang, “Never Say Never.”
24 Comments
I was at the game yesterday, but was up for Cotton Candy run when the Balk happened. The went to town on mound and batters box esp LH hitting side after that. Santana Homer landed 20 feet away. Tough series to lose 3 when all were within reach.
This whole series was a massive blur of suck for me. Was it Friday or Saturday when we struck out 18/37 ABs? I can’t fault Cody for giving up another walk-off. We put up our 3 runs and that is all we can manage, if Cody had by some miracle extended the game further there was no chance of anyone doing anything on offense beyond that.
After 1 month (12.5%) through the season is it too early to say we have problems?
Yan isn’t competing for a Silver Slugger this year
Brantley isn’t 100%
Right field is a quagmire
Yeeps. Our starting pitching has been as good as advertised, keeping us in close games, but the offense just cannot for the life of them string it together.
Cody Allen has conquered his non-save fear, but he can only quell it for the first inning he pitches. When you put him out for a second inning (as Tito has done now twice), well, you get what you get.
and the bullpen and defense hasn’t been terrible, but hasn’t been good enough to make up for the lack of offense either.
warmer weather = warmer bats?
But hey, “It’s only April”
http://45.media.tumblr.com/8a66391f8fb8133850104fee48bd8c40/tumblr_mn5jzi4yr91rixwdqo1_500.gif
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I don’t care what their April record was… the Phillies flat out suck. This was a shameful weekend for the Tribe.
I was also at the game yesterday. I couldn’t tell from where I was, but I assumed the balk was due to him losing his footing.
Traveled two hours each way from New York to see them lose, and realized after the game that my bag, which I had put under my legs to avoid it getting rained on had fallen on its side in a puddle and stayed that way for 2 1/2 hours (had a blanket over my legs so I didn’t realize). Everything inside was soaked.
Got to see good pitching though.
Phillies went into the series with a winning record. Their pitching is fantastic right now.
I know, and that is why I said that I don’t care what their record is. By the end of the season the best record they can hope for is low-70s wins. Gotta take care of these scrub teams even if their confidence hasn’t been broken yet.
Yeah. Kids were mad at me for not letting them go to the kids area which I thought would be open for a little bit after the game. It was not. Heavin Forbid they keep that thing open for 30 min after the game.
Brantley has only been back for 5 games. He has only had 17 plate appearances. Give him a few weeks. I don’t know what is going on with Yan.
They have won 9-10 games. I agree that they are not one of the best teams in NL, but they are hot right now.
Losing April record, winless in May, and as predicted, terrible hitting. Year after year, they prove the naysayers right 🙁
I am not giving up on Michael at all. Merely making the point that he is not 100 and a lot of the prognosticators here were counting on him to come back in mid-season form to spark this offense.
Here is to hoping my friend, although that would bode terribly for a World Series run.
Agreed. Wish Terry would get over his “boys” and get more situational. (As in: Bryan Shaw has pitched three nights in a row therefore this situation calls for someone else)
your negative bode usage irks me
🙂
At least my foreboding is about a World Series run.
Despite everything I said in the actual article, I am still weirdly optimistic. I like the team. But Yan Gomes really does feel like the x-factor many of us saw him as. If he is 2014 Gomes, it’s an enormous boost to the offense. If he is 2015 Gomes, which certainly seems to be the case right now, it just kills the bottom half of the line-up. He’s got this terrible golf swing right now. Everything to left field.
Hate that and have been burned by it in the past. Also, few ballparks (outside Cleveland now) put the kids play area where you can watch the game. Houston has their kids area outside the air conditioning, which makes no sense.
I get that it’s best to have the kids watch the game, but if they want to spend a couple innings messing around with games, then fine. But, that shouldn’t mean I don’t get to keep watching.
Here is where I would say just start Roberto Perez and let Yanimal relax a bit…Dangit!
What happened to Robebo’s thumb?!
Broken making sure we only lost by one run