Donte’ Stallworth’s Workout Partners

So I was reading through comments made by Donte Stallworth’s attorney yesterday. Of course the main topic in Tony Grossi’s piece is that Stallworth could conceivably line up for the Browns this season. A week ago I wouldn’t have thought that possible, and truth be told I’m hoping that it never happens again. Regardless, while going through the piece I found this gem-
Cornwell said Stallworth has been working out to assure he’ll be physically ready to go when cleared to return to the field. “Yesterday at dinner he was complaining that his hamstring was too tight because he was out running hills with Frank Gore, Fred Taylor and Plax [Plaxico Burress]. So he’s been working out,” Cornwell said.
Ok, let’s start with the injury. Does it surprise anyone that Stallworth is hurting after a little physical activity? More hamstring problems huh? Could it be that Donte’ is just not cut out to be a professional athlete? He seems to get hurt all the time, and when he does, his recovery time is terrible. But even putting that aside for a second- why in the world is he working out with Plaxico Burress?
“Bad company corrupts good morals.” I don’t know who thinks pairing Stallworth and Burress is a good idea. I’m not sure if Gore and Taylor are running some kind of house arrest rehab program, but this group needs to be broken up. Or don’t. Better yet, why not replace Gore and Taylor. Let’s throw in Michael Vick and make it a reality show.
Think of it as a Big Brother type show with a touch of Celebrity Rehab and 4th and Long mixed in. Perhaps Michael Irvin could coordinate the football events, and Dr. Drew would be in charge of the rehab. Special guests could include Terrel Owens and Chad Johnson. Wouldn’t that be fun? We’ll call it House Arrest.
Feel free to come up with a better show name in the comments…
(Thanks Denny for the photoshop)







June 18th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Ahhh the Puck!
June 18th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Narrated by Leonard Little.
Set security provided by Ray Lewis.
The house chef could be O.J. Simpson.
Party favors provided by Michael Irvin.
I could go on all day.
June 18th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Also, Sebastian Janikowski will be the chauffeur.
June 18th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
What a stupid post. He is training with another football player, it isn’t even a legit news story. You are just using it as an excuse to pile on.
Lets not pretend that Stallworth is a hardened criminal, he mad a bad choice and a mistake; that doesn’t make him a bad person subject to your ridicule.
June 18th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Duck hunt night sponsored by Rae Carruth
June 18th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
By the looks of it, i think Mo Clarett should be the Chef. Boy has been eatin!
June 18th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
@ whipjacka
sure it does. I’m totally a better person than him now.
June 18th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Whipjacka -
Lighten up. I agree Stallworth isn’t a hardened criminal but the House Arrest idea (perfect name btw, couldn’t be improved upon) is hilarious. Also, it IS OBVIOUSLY not great, when dealing with a significant legal issue, to be associating with another noted alleged felon.
It’s just not a smart decision.
June 18th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
@ Brendan – The Juice is better with knives.
June 18th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
@chirs – This is true
June 18th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
could we get Jose Canseco as security as well (guns, roids…what a combo)
maybe bring in Manny as a midwife…
I’m also seeing Ryan Leaf as the Pharmacist…
June 18th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
Can we name Lawrence Taylor “Minister of Companionship?”
June 18th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Yeah, i can see a wide eyed Plax, ManRam, and Leo Little on pins and needles listening to LT.
“Which brings me to my second point, kids. Don’t do crack. “
June 18th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
I was thinking more along the lines of him just paying for a household full of hookers for everyone.
June 18th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
Here’s another Bible verse for you: “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone.”
June 18th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
Id watch it.
August 8th, 2009 at 2:16 am
[...] Stallworth from news of his plea deal, to his suspension by Roger Goodell, his less than desirable choice of training partners and finally an editorial from [...]