Chris Cooleyhighharmony Takes a Jab at Edwards
Written By: Rick | Category: Cleveland Browns, Guest Post | Comments: 16Vince Grzegorek asked if he could chime in on the poetic stylings of Redskins TE Chris Cooley. Who am I to say no…
In his weekly game review on his blog, Chris Cooley broke out the limerick as the literary vehicle for the recap. While that is awesome in and of itself, it’s newsworthy (probably not?) here because he name checks Braylon Edwards and No. 17’s role in helping the ‘Skins secure victory. Here are the first two stanzas-
“Big game this week for the Skins
We hit the Browns in the chin
The game was rough
But, we were tough
And left the field with a win.Clinton ran wild again
Santana scored with a spin
Z made good calls
Edwards dropped balls
Snyder now has a big grin.”
While getting dissed — if that’s even the right word here — in rap songs is commonplace by now (see: Jay-Z/Stevenson; Shaq/Kobe) the verbal barb in old-timey poetry is a rare thing. That’s usually an honor reserved for loose women, drunkards, and the promiscuous doings between the two.
This is not even really a diss. It’s just a fact. Though I assume it’s an intentional, if mostly benign, dig because it’s not like Cooley could have been hurting for a word to rhyme with “calls” there, and he could have went with “Campbell threw balls” or “Fatso kicked balls” or something more positive instead.
But he went there, oh yes he did, and this flagrant smack talking using couplets and triplets, well, we just can’t stand for it. The quill doth hast been throwen.
My hope is that this stokes Braylon’s flames, as a petty war of words using only rhymed verse is likely the sole exciting thing to come out of 76 Lou Groza Blvd. the rest of the season.
The question is how Edwards should form his rebuttal. Cooley went limerick. Does Braylon go sonnet? Haiku? Clerihew? Dorsimbra? What’s the most lyrical way to say, “You showed your dong to the entire world”?
Author: Rick
Rick is a co-founder and editor of WFNY. His love of Cleveland sports is surpassed only by his faith and love of his family. Follow him on Twitter- @rickwfny.Rick has written 743 articles for Waiting for Next Year.
Rick – I think this would suffice
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kC5Em4BIn-U
as long as “grower, not a show’r” makes it in there, I don’t care what form he chooses…
Two words: IAMBIC. PENTAMETER.
Seriously, Cooley could have written something relative to his other Internet presence that rhymes with “block”, but he chose to imply that he blocked like a wall instead. Total cop-out.
Also, it appears that the jab at Edwards was spawned by an SI article…
http://theredskinsblog.com/2008/10/17/friday-october-17-some-bulletin-board-material-from-braylon/
“We didn’t deserve it, but the Titans in the playoffs?” he said. “Tampa Bay? The Redskins! You can’t tell me we couldn’t beat the damn Redskins.”
For someone who looks like he stole a pair of shorts from John Stockton’s closet, that’s an awfully bold statement.
Those aren’t nearly as short as the shorts I have to wear playing rugby for the Rovers. Don’t knock short shorts till ya try em!
Misty May-Traynor and Kerri Walsh think those shorts reveal a little too much.
“The question is how Edwards should form his rebuttal.”
Going out on a limb here. How about not dropping balls?
Swig wins.
Swig,
I don’t think I’m offbase when I say Braylon probably has a better chance at composing a Shakespearean-quality sonnet than catching the majority of balls throw in his direction.
I think I may know what Braylon’s problem is. He is so surprised that DA throws the ball “accuratley” and he drops it. Case in point, when the ball is tough, Braylon catches it.
DAsucks.com
I hope Cooley isn’t serious.
He once posted a picture of the Redskins playbook on his blog. As if that’s not bad enough, he was naked in the picture, and it included a picture of his 3″ you-know. His brother pleaded to have the picture taken down from other websites, so it was edited to include a MINI Redskins helmet over his junk.
DeShawn Cooleyson?
What is it with the D.C. area ballers?
Funny that you would call them “ballers” considering Cooley’s rep.
[...] October 22, 2008 – Chris Cooley Takes Jab at Edwards [...]
Funny that you would call them “ballers” considering Cooley’s rep.