I had the pleasure of speaking to a Detroit Lions fan over the weekend. Really nice guy, and very loyal to his team. We realized that we have much more in common than we would care to admit as Browns fans. One thing that we both hear a lot is a simple question- Why? As in why do you root for such a terrible team? Recently when asked that question I could really only come up with one answer- I love the Browns? Made me sound like Brick Tamland. So, I thought we’d do a little comparison with the Channel 4 news team’s weather expert. Sad similarities…
Brick Tamland- Where’d you get your clothes… from the… toilet store?
Yeah, we’re playing the Steelers again this week. It’s pretty bad when your biggest rival won’t admit you’re even rivals anymore…and you can’t help but agree. We know Romeo hasn’t beaten Pittsburgh since he arrived, but do we realize how dominant the Steelers have been over us? The last time the Browns earned more than a split of the season series was in 1988! Since then we have been swept 8 times, including losing three in a single season TWICE! Since our last victory over Pittsburgh (in 2003) we have been outscored 319-128. The average final score of a Cleveland/Pittsburgh game in this decade? Pittsburgh 27, Cleveland 15. Why should Pittsburgh get worked up to play us? It’s hard to taunt another team with “Yeah, well we won 7 straight in the 80’s!”
Brick Tamland-Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.
This quote seems appropriate for the one shining moment in the season. The win over the Giants. Those four quarters of beautiful football would have us all puzzled the rest of the season. How did we manage that? Why on earth could we look so unbeatable one moment, and then so totally helpless the rest of the year?
Brick Tamland- You’re not Ron…
Ken Dorsey. We haven’t scored an offensive touchdown in 20 quarters. 4 complete games. Look at your QB Cleveland fans. Do you expect to march down the field with Dorsey at the controls? I’m sure he’s a great guy and all…
Brian Fantana: Where is the suit store? We’ve been walking for forty-five minutes.
Champ Kind: Brick, I thought you said this was a shortcut.
Brick Tamland: Okay.
Ron Burgundy: Well, is it a shortcut or not?
Brick Tamland: Fantastic.
So, Romeo Crennel is still confident he can turn this team into winners. Really? That’s going to be hard from Cancun, or wherever you choose to vacation during the season. I know you can’t just come out and say “I’m likely going to be fired”, but give us a little credit. We’re not buying it. And thanks for all the useful information this season. Is there anything less informative than a Romeo Crennel press conference? Besides this article I mean?
Brick Tamland: O, I’m sorry champ, I think I ate your chocolate squirrel.
Yep. We bought into it. Just like the team did. We thought that 10-6 season meant we had turned a corner. Remember those Super Bowl chants at training camp? It’s not that the team doesn’t have talent. We obviously do. It’s just a shame that we can’t develop or use it properly.
Ron Burgundy: Do you guys really want to know what love is?
Brick Tamland: More than anything in the world, Ron.
Winning. It’s why you watch every week. It’s why you visit a site by our name. Because some day…just maybe…it will be our turn.
Author: Rick
Rick is a co-founder and editor of WFNY. His love of Cleveland sports is surpassed only by his faith and love of his family. Follow him on Twitter- @rickwfny.Rick has written 743 articles for Waiting for Next Year.
Thankfully the Browns don’t play the Lions in Week 17…
At least this guy probably roots for the Pistons and Red Wings.
At this point in the season, the Lions would definitely beat the Browns.
LERNER: Boy, that escalated quickly… I mean, that really got out of hand fast.
SAVAGE: It jumped up a notch.
LERNER: It did, didn’t it?
ROMEO: Yeah, I stabbed a city in the heart.
LERNER: I saw that. Romeo killed a city. Did you throw a trident?
ROMEO: Yeah, there were Bengals, and the Ravens were on fire, and I killed the season with a trident.
LERNER: Romeo, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a team not so close by. Lay low for a while, because you’re probably wanted for murder.
Romeo ate a big, red candle
Mendy got it perfectly. Oh man, I am typing LOL and I actually mean it.
Seriously, when will this town be able to enjoy one Fing football season?
Rick- Thanks for using my fantasy FB team as the idea for your blog.
You know I didn’t know what your team name meant until about two weeks ago. First time I saw the movie.
Don’t mean to nitpick an otherwise great article, Rick, but sadly, 20 quarters of football is actually FIVE complete games, not four.
Sigh.
I’m also bummed that you couldn’ve have worked “an invitation to the pants party” into this article, as well, but beggars can’t be choosers, I guess.
And, apparently I’m so choked up that I’m making words up like “couldn’ve”. How about couldn’t?
@ mendy wins post of the week and it’s only Monday.
It’s nice to see some respect for the San Diegons on this website, finally.
I would have liked to see you work in my good friend (Gary) Baxter, who ate a whole wheel of cheese then pooped in RAC’s refrigerator.
Or Brick riding a furry tractor.
Either way, I think that it can safely be said that Phil Savage = James Westfall and RAC = Dr. Kenneth Noisewater. You can call me the Octagon.
Mendy – you win. You have out-classed every last one of us.
Now I will go back to expressing my inner anguish through the majesty of song.
I’m Ron Burgundy?
Shaun Smith: Oh Brady- I look like hell! I got bags under my eyes. What’s that? Well if you were a man, I’d punch you. Punch you right in the mouth. That’s bush. Bush league. YOU HEAR ME? BRADY! LOOK AT ME!
I think maybe Shaun Smith just missed Brady’s scent… he missed his musk.
When this is all over with, I think they’ll get an apartment together.
BREAKING NEWS. WNWV – 107.3 THE WAVE HAS OBTAINED A TRANSCRIPT OF THE SMITH-QUINN FIGHT:
Shaun Smith: Excuse me.
Brady Quinn: What are you doing?
Shaun Smith: I need this machine so I can watch tape of my sack dance. I had a sack a few years ago.
Brady Quinn: I’m using the tape. I’m showing Dorsey my tape of a Notre Dame-Navy game. We are watching history.
Shaun Smith: Mr. Quinn, I’m a professional, and I would like to be able to do my job.
Brady Quinn: Big deal. I am very professional.
Shaun Smith: Mr. Quinn, you are acting like a baby.
Brady Quinn: I’m not a baby, I am a man. I am an quarterback from Notre Dame. I am in commericals.
Shaun Smith: You are not a man. You are a blogosphere joke.
Brady Quinn: I’m a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That’s what kind of man I am. You’re just a fatty with a small brain. With a sack total lower than Donte Stallworth’s games played. It’s science.
Shaun Smith: I will have you know that I have more talent and more intelligence in my little finger than you do in your entire body, sir. In fact, I am so fat my little finger is bigger than your entire body.
Brady Quinn: You are a smelly pirate hooker.
Shaun Smith: You look like a soccer player.
Brady Quinn: Hamburglar, Why don’t you go back to your home on the McDonald’s Playground?
Shaun Smith: Well, you have bad hair.
Brady Quinn: [insulted] What did you say?
Shaun Smith: I said… your hair… looks stupid.
[an A-bomb mushroom cloud is reflected in Brady's eyes; the knock-down drag-out fight begins]
haha, alright i’ll take my free WFNY shirt whenever you wanna send it on over